Joey Stipek | firstname.lastname@example.org
The clickety-clang sounds of the cowbell reverberate through the newsroom as Gazette Editor-in-Chief Joe Hight summons newsroom staffers to attending the morning and afternoon meetings.
On my first day inside the Gazette newsroom, Web and Social Media Editor Dalton Walker broke the cowbell. The debate to whether or not Dalton accidentally or deliberately broke the cowbell will go down as one of the great unsolved mysteries next to the creation of Stonehenge, Jack the Ripper and Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance.
Every time I hear the disjointed clangs of the cowbell, I can’t help but think to myself that there are more suitable options to replace it. With this in mind, I came up with a few possible replacements to help summon staffers to the newsroom meeting.
With the World Cup taking place in Brazil, the vuvuzela immediately came to mind. Sure, the vuvuzela is quite possibly the most annoying sound in the world, but it would certainly grab people’s attention. The downside is this might be the newsroom reaction when the vuvuzela summons them:
2. Air horn
The ultimate attention-grabber, over-caffeinated parents use air horns to blare their excitement over their children graduating college or high school. I’m sure someone would spill their coffee from being startled from an air horn summoning them to a morning or afternoon meeting. Of course, there is always the possibility of this scenario playing out as well.
3. Smartphone ringtone
Chimes, radar, and ripples are just a few of the ringtones on my smartphone. Sadly, there is no cowbell ringtone on my phone. Preferably, it would be a pre-loaded factory ringtone, not a 30 second clip from a classic rock song that makes the newsroom sound like a dive bar on a Friday night.
Sidenote: “Your ringtone is annoying” is the rare statement that is almost always universally valid.
These are my suggestions. Of course, some in the newsroom might argue that the only way to replace a cowbell is:
Joey Stipek is attends the University of Oklahoma. Follow him on Twitter @JoeyStipek