Kevin Carroll, who served as an assistant men’s basketball coach at Air Force the last three seasons, has accepted the head coaching position at Maryville University-St. Louis, a Division II school.
You can read the press release, put out by Maryville, here.
But I would be remiss if I did not point out the best sentence of the release, which also is possibly the most entertaining thing I’ve read in my entire life:
“Carroll was an assistant coach for the past three seasons at the Air Force Academy and the Falcons qualified for the Mountain West Conference tournament and advanced as far as the quarterfinals each year.”
(Um … everyone in the league “qualifies” for the MWC Tournament. And it’s a bit of a stretch to say the Falcons “advanced” to the quarterfinals in ’08 because their first game was in the quarterfinal round and they lost).
I need to find out who wrote that release and hire him or her to run some PR for me at home.
“Jake kept the grass in the yard at a uniform height throughout the winter.”
“Thanks to Jake, there were no carpet stains on the hardwood floors.”
“Jake hasn’t forgotten his wife’s birthday in the 11 months since she turned 30.”
“The fridge is so much more tidy without that 12-pack of Guinness that was in it earlier this morning.”
