This Mountain West Tournament certainly figures to be watched, as the league concluded the regular season with the No. 1 RPI. Monday’s weekly media conference call included ESPN and the New York Times in addition to the typical role call of local beat writers.
Here’s a brief team-by-team rundown of the competing schools:
NO. 1 NEW MEXICO (26-5, 13-3)
Why they’ll win it: The Lobos, with league Player of the Year Kendall Williams and Defensive Player of the Year Alex Kirk, led the standings throughout the season and have the most consistent team.
Why they won’t: Heavy is the crown – top seeds have won the tournament just twice.
NO. 2 COLORADO STATE (24-7, 11-5)
Why they’ll win it: Colton Iverson and Pierce Hornung give the Rams the best interior presence on both ends of the floor, and five seniors are in the starting lineup.
Whey they won’t: Stopping opponents on the perimeter has been troublesome to say the least (the Rams gave up 45 points or more to two guards) and a late-season swoon exposed cracks.
NO. 3 UNLV (23-8, 10-6)
Why they’ll win it: The Rebels are generally considered the most talented team in the field, they have the home-court advantage and a potential star in freshman Anthony Bennett.
Why they won’t: Inconsistency has plagued this team throughout the season. Winning three games in four days seems highly unlikely.
NO. 4 SAN DIEGO STATE (21-9, 9-7)
Why they’ll win it: Jamaal Franklin is a game-changing star who can score and rebound, and coach Steve Fisher and his squad have plenty to play for after seeing their postseason prospects take a serious hit with a 3-4 record since Feb. 13.
Why they won’t: Franklin has shot less than 44 percent in each of the Aztecs losses. Take him away and they can’t seem to recover.
NO. 5 BOISE STATE (21-9, 9-7)
Why they’ll win it: The Broncos are the league’s “it” team, with wins in five of their past six games. They have the best guard play in the conference behind Derrick Marks, Anthony Drmic and Jeff Elorriaga.
Why they won’t: They don’t have the inside bangers to make up for a cold snap from the outside.
NO. 6 AIR FORCE (17-12, 8-8)
Why they’ll win it: The Falcons run the league’s most unique and complicated offense, and though everyone has seen it, preparing on short notice will be tough. Also, the team’s five seniors desperately want to leave their mark, and they showed in Saturday’s victory over No. 12 New Mexico what they can do when motivated in such a way.
Why they won’t: The Falcons haven’t been able to find success away from Clune Arena. They defeated only Wyoming on the road in league play and most of those losses were lopsided.
NO. 7 FRESNO STATE (11-18, 5-11)
Why they’ll win it: This is a young, tall team that is finally gelling as those young inside players have learned to work together. Kansas transfer Braeden Anderson gained eligibility in February and the Bulldogs are 3-4 since he entered the starting lineup.
Why they won’t: The Bulldogs have been good at times, but haven’t shown long enough flashes to suggest they might win three times in Las Vegas. The suspension of center Robert Upshaw doesn’t help matters.
NO. 8 WYOMING (18-12, 4-12)
Why they’ll win it: They have a defense that can frustrate anyone (they held San Diego State to nine first-half points in a January victory) and the patience to play slow. Other teams will be amped up for the postseason, so this won’t be a fun matchup.
Why they won’t: Injuries and a bar fight have left their roster depleted and a lack of shooting touch has doomed a season that started with a 13-0 record.
NO. 9 NEVADA (12-18, 3-13)
Why they’ll win it: This team won the WAC Tournament last year, so it knows how to play in the postseason. Guards Malik Story and Deonte Burton are legit.
Why they won’t: This has been a year spent adjusting to the new league, the Pack isn’t ready to win it.
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20Q CHRIS HARDWICK
Q1PLAYBOY: Your podcast, called Nerdist, gets 4 million downloads every month. Are podcasts the future of comedy or just something to do while you wait to get cast in a sitcom?HARDWICK: I do podcasts for the same reasons I do stand-up comedy. I love it, and I don’t care if anybody else gets it. I don’t know if the podcast as a medium will ever have the cultural impact that TV and movies do. It may never be super-mainstream. For some people, you say podcasts and they’re like, “What the hell is that?” They don’t understand it’s like a radio show you can download. Mainstream culture is like your mom: It’s always a little late to catch on and gets easily confused by technology, but it means well.Q2PLAYBOY: What exactly is a nerdist? Is it just a fancy word for nerd? HARDWICK: I think the Urban Dictionary defines nerdist as “an artful nerd.” That’s not bad. It’s on the safe side of pretentious. Nerdists, unlike nerds, tend to be creators as much as consumers. They’re creative consumers. They don’t just sit and watch passively. They’re crafty. They make shirts and posters and confectionery things.Q3PLAYBOY: Nerds have been around since the dawn of time. Why are they getting respect now?HARDWICK: Because nerds make money. I hate to say it, but because of humanity’s capitalistic nature, money is important. And with money comes power. I think it’s also about accessibility. So many people of this current generation have grown up with technology and video games, it’s not nerdy to like that kind of stuff anymore. Nerd culture is ubiquitous.Q4PLAYBOY: Nerdist Industries is the name of your media empire of websites, podcasts and YouTube videos. In what ways are you similar to ruthless 19th century industrialist George Pullman?HARDWICK: In every way. I’ve always had a fondness for that satirical, Terry Gilliam–esque evil corporate megastructure, the kind of business that hangs banners that say making your life better as it throws kittens into the gears. I want Nerdist Industries to be like that. For a while we were using the slogan “Nerdist: Making Today the Yesterday of Tomorrow,” which is just stupid. It’s dumb doublespeak. But the whole idea of being an industry is about making fun of people’s confusion.Q5PLAYBOY: You were born in Kentucky and raised in Tennessee, but you don’t have even a trace of a Southern accent. Do you consider yourself a Southerner?HARDWICK: I love the South. Although I grew up primarily in Memphis, my family moved around a ton when I was a kid. I guess I never stayed in one place long enough to pick up the accent, but I definitely identify as a Southerner. I fucking love grits, for one thing. I am a grits-eating motherfucker. I love all Southern cooking—collard greens, black-eyed peas, I’ll eat it all. Put me in the kitchen and you’ll see how Southern I can be.Q6PLAYBOY: Your father is a retired professional bowler. Were you ever pressured to go into the family business?HARDWICK: Absolutely not. Both my parents recognized early on that I wanted to do something in comedy, and they were really supportive. They’re the ones who bought me Steve Martin records and let me watch R-rated comedies long before they probably should have. But I still spent a lot of time bowling as a kid, mostly because I grew up in bowling alleys. They were kind of my playgrounds. Not only was my dad a pro bowler, but my mother’s father and brother both owned their own bowling centers. I still bowl today, though I wouldn’t recommend doing it with me. I’m not fun to bowl with, believe me. I take it way too seriously.Q7PLAYBOY: How did you discover your nerd tendencies growing up in a bowling alley? It’s not a nerd-friendly environment.HARDWICK: It can be. That’s where I got into arcade games. My grandfather, my mom’s dad, who was a really smart and wonderful man, was a technophile. He was the first guy to buy those big laser-disc players in 1979. He had the latest camcorders and stereo systems and Betamax players. He noticed early on that video games were a big deal, so he set up a massive arcade in his bowling center in Florida. I spent all my time there. When I wasn’t playing video games, my friends and I would play Dungeons & Dragons or chess at the bar. I had full access to all my nerd obsessions. I guess when I think about it, I was a spoiled piece of shit.Q8PLAYBOY: You’re not a fan of competitive athletic sports. As a spectator or a participant?HARDWICK: Neither. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with sports; I just don’t give a shit. When I see dudes in sports bars shoving chicken wings in their faces, watching a game and saying, “That’s my team,” it mystifies me. I’m like, You’re sitting on your fat ass. What are you doing that makes you a contributing member of the organization? You’ve lifted nothing but drumsticks for the past three hours.Q9PLAYBOY: Have you considered joining a fantasy league? They have statistics and math, all the nerd staples.HARDWICK: Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. I would have to look at it like a chess game, as a strategy. If I did that, I could probably find a way in. It would make my life a lot easier if I could find a way to appreciate sports. I mean, I’ve never watched an entire football game. It’s horrifying. So many dudes try to bond with me over sports. They’ll come up to me and say, “Hey, do you know the score of the game?” I won’t even know what to say. Game? What game? I can give you some quotes from the last Harry Potter movie. Does that help?Q10PLAYBOY: You majored in philosophy at UCLA. Were you just not interested in making money or having a career?HARDWICK: Steve Martin, my comedy idol, was a philosophy major in college. He once said that philosophy is a great thing for comedians to study because it screws up your thinking just enough. If you’re going into stand-up, you’re hyper-analyzing the world and asking as many questions about a thing as you possibly can so you can figure out the ultimate nature of that thing. If you want to get into comedy, it’s really the only subject worth studying.Q11PLAYBOY: Your first big career break was as a co-host with Jenny McCarthy on the MTV dating show Singled Out. Which leads to the obvious question——HARDWICK: No, I did not fuck Jenny McCarthy.Q12PLAYBOY: Actually, that’s not what we were going to ask, but thanks for clearing that up. We were wondering if hosting the show taught you any big life lessons about dating.HARDWICK: For me, the lessons of Singled Out weren’t about dating. They were about fame. I learned that just being on MTV doesn’t make you famous. When I got the job, I was like, Oh man, I’m going to be on a private jet with fucking Kurt Cobain. We’ll be toasting martinis and getting blown by mermaids. And of course none of that happened. The show ended, and I became an out-of-work comic with a drinking problem.Q13PLAYBOY: Is it true that Jon Stewart mocked you into sobriety?HARDWICK: In a way. I was in my apartment, watching The Daily Show, and McCarthy was a guest. Stewart made a joke about me. Somehow my name came up, and Stewart was like, “He gets our coffee now.” It devastated me. It was the first moment I took a long hard look at my life and my career. It made me realize, Oh my God, I’ve become that MTV stereotype I always worried about becoming. I was proud of Jenny, and I say that with no bitterness. There are only a handful of people who started their careers on MTV who managed to keep it going. There’s Jenny and Pauly Shore and maybe a few others. But it never happened for me. I became the washed-up drunk loser with floppy hair who used to be on a dating show.Q14PLAYBOY: How did you dig yourself out of that hole?HARDWICK: When I look back, every time I felt something bleak was happening with my career, I would make some sort of survival-based choice, doing something I could control. I was very lazy about doing stand-up when I was hosting Singled Out. I was like, “Whatever, I have a job.” But when I had nothing, it was a lifeline. It made me feel coach factory outlet I was finally taking control of my career. The same thing with the podcast. Every time I was rejected by the entertainment business, which was a lot, I’d be like, “Well, fuck you. herve leger dress I’m going to do my own thing.” Even if nothing happened with it, it was my thing and they couldn’t touch it. Of course, the business didn’t give a shit at the time, but I was still muttering under my breath like a crazy person.Q15PLAYBOY: You wrote a self-help book called The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (in Real Life). Are you better at giving advice or taking it?HARDWICK: It’s so much easier to give advice than to take it. But I tend to trust any advice that comes from years of fuck-up research. When I was younger, my parents used to say, “Trust us on this. We have more experience than you.” And I was like, “Shut up, you don’t know anything!” But I was an idiot. They did know more stuff because they’d experienced more things. They’d fucked up more often than I had. There’s no better path to knowledge than fucking up. coach factory online outlet Q16PLAYBOY: You were part of a regular Dungeons & Dragons game with comedians Brian Posehn, Patton Oswalt and others. Why are comics drawn to fantasy role-playing games?HARDWICK: I really don’t know. Maybe because D&D is the perfect mental exercise. It’s math and fantasy. It’s statistics and Lord of the Rings. It requires you to use your mind but also be social. Our game was amazing just because everyone involved was so goddamn funny. Patton had a drunken dwarf character called Stump Hammer. I was a lawful good wizard named Blaividane, sort of an anagram of David Blaine’s name. Brian had a ninja character who was obsessed with pickles. It was some of the best times I’ve ever had playing D&D. I really miss it.Q17PLAYBOY: You don’t play anymore?HARDWICK: The bummer thing about a D&D game is that it’s like having a band. If one coach factory online person can’t show up, then the whole thing falls apart. Our game ended because our dungeon master got a girlfriend, and she didn’t want him playing D&D on Sundays with a bunch of guys for five hours. We’d run into him later, and it was always awkward. It was like we were a dude and he was our ex-girlfriend.Q18PLAYBOY: You’re a regular at Comic-Con in San Diego. Are we correct in thinking it’s like Plato’s Retreat with Spock ears? HARDWICK: There is an element of that, yeah. Hey, nerds made porn available on the internet—what else do you need to know? But that’s the vibe at comic book conventions in general. When I was growing up, nerds had this reputation for being virgins who lived in their parents’ basements. That’s certainly not the case now. I would say that nerds, as a rule, are much more sexually active than the average person. There’s a lot of anxiety and stress in the nerd brain, so sex is good for that.Q19PLAYBOY: You’re a Star Wars fanatic. Isn’t your girlfriend, Chloe Dykstra, part of Star Wars royalty?HARDWICK: In a way, yeah. Her dad did the effects for Star Wars. He helped develop the technology for the lightsaber. The freaking lightsaber! I’m not saying that’s why I go out with her, but it’s definitely a big check in the “pro” box. A couple of months herve leger dresses ago she brought me this gift bag, and she was like, “Yeah, I was just rifling around my dad’s garage.” It was an original Star Wars crew T-shirt, with a design I’d never seen before, and an original Star Trek: The Motion Picture crew shirt. It was the best gift I’ve ever gotten. I went on a tour of Skywalker Ranch a couple of years ago and saw the original everything—the original droids, the original concept art, the original lightsabers. I saw the original Yoda, and I’ll be honest, I wanted to spoon with him.Q20PLAYBOY: As a card-carrying nerd, this is probably the most important question you’ll ever be asked. If and when you have kids, how will you introduce them to the Star Wars movies? In what order?HARDWICK: You’re not kidding about it being an important question. I talk about this a lot. It’s a big moral quandary. Do you want your kids to experience it like you experienced it, or do you go in the proper order? I’ve heard arguments on both sides. The problem with doing it in numerical order is that it ruins the Vader “You are my father” surprise. The most convincing case I’ve read was by herve leger dresses this guy Rod Hilton, who came up with something called the Machete Order. He recommends showing them like this: A New Hope, then Empire, then Attack of the Clones, then Revenge of the Sith, then Return of the Jedi, completely leaving out Phantom Menace. His point is Phantom is unnecessary, and parts two and three play like a flashback. It makes sense, but I still don’t know. I saw Star Wars in the theater with my dad, so if I had a kid, I’d maybe want to show the movies to him or her in that order, just for the tradition of it. I don’t know. This is too much pressure. It’s like asking where I want to be buried. Can I get back to you?
Hef’s Movie Notes: Red Headed Woman
Tomorrow night: Barbara Stanwyck, with George Brent, Donald Cook and John Wayne in the pre-Code “BABY FACE.”On Sunday: Hugh Jackman in “REAL STEEL.”Next Friday: James Dean and Natalie Wood, with Sal Mineo in “REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE.”And on Saturday–a week from tomorrow—Joan Crawford, with Jack Carson and Zachary Scott, in her Academy Award winning performance in “MILDRED PIERCE.”Tonight: Jean Harlow and Chester Morris in the pre-Code classic “RED HEADED WOMAN.”Harlow’s first feature role was as a blonde bombshell in the Howard Hughes’ classic “HELL’S ANGELS” in 1930.But subsequent parts in films such as “PLATINUM BLONDE” for Colombia and “PUBLIC ENEMY” for Warner Bros. did little to advance her career.It was not until she downed a red wig and played coach factory online the trollop in “RED HEADED WOMAN” for MGM in 1932 that she became a star.MGM bought her contract from Howard Hughes for what has been variously reported as $30 to $60,000, and then didn’t know what to do with her, because Louis B. Mayer prided himself on “family films.”“RED HEADED WOMAN” was a sensational novel written by Katharine Brush in 1931 and serialized by the Saturday Evening Post.Irving Thalberg originally purchased the property for Garbo, but she turned it down.Joan Crawford was considered for the part and so was Barbara Stanwyck.Warner Bros. refused to loan Stanwyck to MGM, but starred her in a cheap coach backpacks similar amoral role in the pre-Code “BABY FACE” the following year.And we’ll see that one tomorrow!Clara Bow was considered for tonight’s film, because she really was a red head.Paramount refused to loan Nancy Carroll for the film.Tests of Ann Southern, Dixie Lee (Mrs. Bing Crosby) and Ethel Merman (yes, Ethel Merman) proved unsatisfactory.It was the ill-fated MGM producer Paul Bern who finally convinced Production coach factory online Chief Irving Thalberg to use Jean Harlow in the role.Harlow is sensational in the picture. An unrepentant sinner! Sexy! Scandalous! And hilarious, too—because this is a satire on sex.At least that’s what Thalberg said when the Hays Office objected to the film.“She’s a harlot,” said the Hays Office. “A common little tart using her body to gain her ends.”Harlow played a shameless stenographer who, in the words of Time magazine, “Cooed and screwed her way to the top—and got away with it.”Film critic Leonard Maltin calls this “the sexiest performance in screen history.”There’s even a flash of bare breast in one dressing scene with Una Merkel, but you’ll probably miss it, because it’s only there for a moment.When news that Harlow had been chosen to star in the picture reached Louis B. Mayer, he warned Thalberg that any consequences that might come from this unsavory project would be on his head.Thalberg gave the role of supervising producer on the picture to close friend Paul Bern, Harlow’s mentor.When Bern asked Irene Mayer Selznick what she’d think if he married Harlow, “I didn’t have to think,” Louis B. Mayer’s daughter remembered. “I just answered, ‘You’d blow your brains out!’”And he did.Harold Rosson was the cinematographer on the picture.After Paul Bern’s death, Harlow fell into an affair—and married—Rosson, but it didn’t last.The final, great love of Harlow’s life—before her untimely demise in 1937—was William Powell, who reminded her of her mentor, Paul Bern.Marcel de Sano was originally chosen to direct tonight’s picture. And MGM story editor Sam Marx nominated no less than F. Scott Fitzgerald to write the screenplay.Thalberg approved Fitzgerald’s $1,200 a week salary—most of which went toward medical expenses for his mentally ill wife, Zelda.Working at MGM, the studio brass soon learned that Fitzgerald had a drinking problem.“He gets drunk (just) sniffing the cork on a bottle of wine,” director de Sano observed at the time.Fitzgerald finished a screenplay, but Thalberg and Bern concluded that the author of “The Great Gatsby” had no real empathy for the character.It was de Sano who told Fitzgerald that his script had been rejected and that Anita Loos, the author of “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” would be writing a new, more satirical version.According to Sam Marx, Scott Fitzgerald was devastated by the news, and “didn’t draw a non-alcoholic breath for a month.”Thalberg then fired director de Sano for telling Fitzgerald that his work has been rejected.This incident, together with a memorable party at Thalberg’s home, inspired a short story Fitzgerald wrote called “CRAZY SUNDAY,” which led, in turn, to his famous unfinished novel, “THE LAST TYCOON,” eventually made into a 1976 film in which Robert DeNiro played the Thalberg character.Director de Sano soon committed suicide.A new director, Jack Conway, was assigned to the project.He was an efficient craftsman at MGM, making “VIVA VILLA” with Wallace Beery in 1934, “A TALE OF TWO CITIES” with Ronald Colman in 1935, and four films with Harlow, including her last, “SARATOGA,” with Clark Gable in 1937.Costarring in “RED HEADED WOMAN” is Chester Morris, a child actor who played tough guy roles in the ‘30s, and Boston Blackie in films in the 1940s.Lewis Stone, best remembered as Judge Hardy in the Andy Hardy films with Mickey Rooney, has a supporting role.And Charles Boyer has a cameo role at the end of the film. Unknown in America, Boyer would become the definitive French lover later in the decade, starring opposite Garbo, Dietrich and Hedy Lamarr.As Thalberg explained to Anita Loos: “We’ve got a French actor here on a six month option, but I’m letting him go because nobody can understand the guy’s English. His option is up in two weeks, which would be just long enough for him to do the part of that chauffeur.“So take a look at his test and tell me if you think it’s worth a rewrite to make the chauffeur a Frenchman.”Production on “RED HEADED WOMAN” began on April 28 and wrapped on May 27, 1932.When the picture was previewed in Glendale, the audience didn’t know what to make of coach backpacks outlet the Harlow character.So Thalberg added the montage of humorous moments at the start of the film to establish that this was intended as farce.It didn’t matter to the would-be censors. This film, and others like it, led to the repressive Production Code in 1934.And the Catholic church began discussions that led to the establishment of their own Legion of Decency.Parts of tonight’s film were cut by local censors throughout the country and the picture was banned in England.But the public loved the Coach Outlet film—and Harlow in it!With the success of “RED HEADED WOMAN,” Harlow was rushed into “RED DUST” with MGM’s other new, rising star, Clark Gable.On July 2, 1932, one month after “RED HEADED WOMAN” was released, Jean Harlow married her middle-aged mentor, Paul Bern.On September 5, Harlow’s husband died, an apparent suicide, while “RED DUST” was still in production—just as Irene Meyer Selznick had predicted.Within five years, Harlow, herself, would be gone.And now–from 1932—Jean Harlow in the pre-Code classic–“RED HEADED WOMAN”
Cars of the Year 2013
Most of the auto world is in high cotton (sorry, Volvo). Whether you’re gunning for pure speed, green innovation, new technology or cheap thrills, there’s a fine new machine out there for you. In the biz, Chrysler is saving its savior, keeping floundering Fiat from failure. Toyota and Honda are roaring back. Hyundai and Kia are kicking ass. Detroit is dynamite, producing some of the best cars in its history. Gasoline prices (as we go to press) are hovering around $4.50, so though electric cars have continued to improve, they haven’t yet sparked a revolution. Porsche, Benz, BMW and Audi still set the standards, while a slim 25 grand will get you a spirited, rear-drive Japanese sports coupe. And then there’s all that new exotic metal—McLaren, Ferrari, Jaguar. We drove ’em all hard and put ’em away wet. Here are the best of the best for the new model year.Since the Sl’s debut in 1956, not every generation has won our hearts. But the latest SL550 is a trim bolide with an all-aluminum body, tons of power and tire-melting torque. The car constantly reminds you how fast and smart it is. Corner at speed and your seat curls to cup you against the g-force. The headrests’ Airscarf feature keeps your neck warm, and the “magic sky” hard-top roof changes from clear to dark tint with the touch of a button. And the speed! Hold on to your driver’s license. When you purchase an SL, you instantly inherit more than 100 years of Mercedes-Benz development. If you have endless millions, go for the 45th anniversary SL65 AMG version (pictured)—630 horsepower!STATSEngine: 4.6-liter twin-turbo V8Horsepower: 429Zero to 60: 4.1 secondsMPG: 16 city, 25 highwayThe best just got better. The fourth-gen Range Rover is completely revamped, with an SUV-first all-aluminum body that saves 700 pounds, its panels bonded (not bolted or welded) like on aircraft. Snow? Mountain roads? Commute? The Rover’s computer automatically selects the optimum all-wheel-drive setup so you can put horsepower to the ground. More refinement, a larger interior, an eight-speed automatic. coach factory outlet online We’re out of room: It’s the ultimate SUV.STATSEngine: five-liter V8Horsepower: 375Zero to 60: 6.5 secondsMPG: 13 city, 18 highwayThe car you see above is highly anticipated. Like the Yankee who fills Derek coach factory outlet Jeter’s cleats at shortstop, this thing better be good. The M5 is the standard-bearer for asphalt-devouring, full-size sport sedans, a machine that can chariot you to the office in a style worthy of your Yurman watch and then outclass just about anything on the track on Sunday. The all-new M5 fulfills. So Coach factory outlet much thought went into this automobile, from its uniquely crafted twin-turbo V8 (which looks like some wildly imagined atom splitter) to its highly intuitive nav system (a child could figure it out). Of course the M in M5 stands for BMW’s legendary motorsport division. You have 560 horsepower, crisp steering, killer braking power, a standard seven-speed paddle shifter and—for a car that weighs well over 4,000 pounds—remarkable agility. The autorati quibbled about how the engine noise gets piped through the stereo speakers. Who the hell cares? The mighty M5 strikes again.STATSEngine: 4.4-liter twin-turbo V8Horsepower: 560Zero to 60: 3.7 secondsMPG: 15 city, 22 highwayBy now you’ve seen the Cadillac ATS commercials that kicked off during the Olympics, showing former pro racer Derek Hill tearing it up in GM’s new $33,095 tire-roasting sport sedan. So, Derek, tell us about it. “It was the ultimate test drive,” he says. “We put the ATS through conditions most people don’t think about, such as the high crosswinds of Patagonia, daunting switchbacks in the Atlas Mountains, the formidable racetrack at Monaco and a road surface of bumpy rock carved into a cliff in China.” And why, we ask? “To display how confident the new ATS is.” Beautifully put. We couldn’t resist giving the new Caddy a shout-out.Leave it to Honda to solve the conundrum of the small electric car. The plug-in, all-electric Fit EV is a curiously stylish little thing. Honda claims an 82-mile combined city-highway-range equivalent. (Its EPA rating is 132 mpge in the city.) A superquick three-hour 240-volt charging time means you can go from an empty to a full battery faster than you can watch The Godfather: Part II. The battery pack under the floor adds a few hundred pounds, but hey, it helps cornering stability. We’ve driven rivals such as the Mitsubishi MiEV, the Nissan Leaf and the China-sourced CODA (which beats them all with its achievable 125-mile driving range but looks like a 1980s throwback). The Fit still comes up trumps. Limited availability in 2013 may keep it out of your hands for now, but look for it down the road.STATSEngine: electric motorHorsepower: 100Zero to 60: 8.4 secondsMPGe: 118 combined city-highwayHotter than the Olsen twins! More agile than the Barber brothers! Subaru and Toyota have teamed up to offer a pair of virtually identical sports coupes, saving each company a bundle on development and giving enthusiasts a pair of affordable, stylish rear-drive Japanese GTs. It’s like the Dodgers and Giants sharing a catcher. Weird, right? Both cars feature a Subaru four-cylinder, front-mounted amidships for near-perfect weight distribution. Differences in suspension tuning and trim are noticeable. So is the sticker. The Subie is a tad more expensive because its nav system, Bluetooth and upmarket interior are standard. Either way, these are pure fun, like Japanese sports coupes of yore. Flick off stability control and you’re in drift heaven. Take your pick; we dig ’em both.STATSEngine: two-liter flat fourHorsepower: 200Zero to 60: 6.4 seconds BRZ; 6.2 seconds coach factory outlet FR-SMPG: 22 city, 30 highwayThe pony car war is the auto industry’s answer to the Cold War. For decades Chevy’s Camaro and Ford’s Mustang have stockpiled horsepower and battled for all-American muscle car supremacy. Both companies released their most extreme examples ever in recent months. Like the Mustang, this Camaro pulls its moniker, ZL1, from a 1960s legend. Like the Mustang, its numbers boggle the mind: 580 horsepower, 556 foot-pounds of torque. What sets them apart from each other? Styling, for one. The Ford is old-school badass. The Chevy looks like the Batmobile out of the next caped-crusader blockbuster. And then there’s performance. Both deliver direct injections of adrenaline through your breastplate, but for us, the Camaro offers a slightly more compliant ride in city traffic—with less chance of getting to work with your nerves shredded on the floor mat.STATSEngine: 6.2-liter supercharged V8Horsepower: 580Zero to 60: 3.9 secondsMPG: 14 city, 19 highwayFord’s most powerful Mustang carries the badge of Carroll Shelby, who died in 2012. Check these numbers: 662 horsepower, 202 mph top speed. As one reviewer put it, “It is…absolutely insane that Ford is setting this car loose on the American public.” It turns out, however, this Shelby is drivable, refined even, on city streets. Compared with the Camaro at left, the Shelby feels like more of a hard charger—blistering speed matched with precision cornering. You can break most highway speed limits in first gear. Plus: better gas mileage. For us, this Mustang trumps its Chevy rival. No doubt Mr. Shelby is looking down and smiling.STATSEngine: 5.8-liter supercharged V8Horsepower: 662Zero to 60: 3.5 secondsMPG: 15 city, 24 highwayHit the trail, the mountains, the boulevard. Audi’s new Allroad could probably spirit you across the scarred face of the moon while coddling you in luxury as you tap your thumbs to the 505-watt Bang & Olufsen audio system. The Allroad replaces Audi’s A4 Avant wagon with a butch-looking package kitted out with fender flares, aluminum roof rails, optional 19-inch wheels, 1.5 inches more ground clearance and, of course, Quattro all-wheel drive. Enjoy Audi’s brilliant Google Earth nav system; a 3G connection gets you instant weather updates through your own Wi-Fi hot spot. The top-shelf interior rivals Mercedes-Benz’s to set the industry benchmark. Yes, it’s a station wagon—as rare as a rolling watermelon on the streets these days. But it’s a looker, and Coach factory outlet no road is too rough.STATSEngine: two-liter turbo I-4Horsepower: 211Zero to 60: 6.5 secondsMPG: 20 city, 27 highwayIn an ideal world, we’d have a garage (and a wallet) big enough coach factory online outlet for all this machinery. For those in need of a snappy hatchback that’s quick on its feet, has room for five and sports a price tag that doesn’t read like a long-distance phone number, this ride’s for you. Mazda has tossed it all in: 18-inch wheels, 280 foot-pounds of torque, 42.8 cubic feet of hauling space, great braking with ABS and a slick-shifting six-speed. Niceties include a 10-speaker Bose surround-sound audio system. Honorable mention: Ford’s new European-developed Focus ST.STATSEngine: 2.3-liter turbo I-4Horsepower: 263Zero to 60: 6.5 secondsMPG: 18 city, 25 highwayMcLaren has taken its decades of Formula One–winning experience to build a racer for the street that’s truly the easiest car to drive scary-fast we’ve ever experienced. It’s close to docile in traffic but transforms into an animal on a racetrack. Time to geek out: A strong carbon-fiber tub forms a stiff foundation to support a semi-active hydraulic suspension system, a seven-speed dual-clutch transmission and a low-mid-mounted V8 that performs almost like an electric motor in its smooth power delivery. Bonus: electronic launch control. The car feels like an extension of your mind. You will it to perform, and it responds faster than you thought possible.STATSEngine: 3.8-liter twin-turbo V8Horsepower: 616Zero to 60: 3.1 secondsMPG: 15 city, 24 highwayImagine a girlfriend who will be whatever you want, whenever you want—sexy, chill, an Olympian who can outpace Usain Bolt—and always exquisite. That’s the new seventh-generation 911. Porsche engineers have continued to improve this car since its debut in 1963. The latest has an impossibly sexy figure (two inches longer, two inches wider, a perfectly balanced roofline). But the real key is its remarkable electronic voodoo. In comfort mode, the ride is buttery smooth, the mileage impressive, the leather ultraluxe. All that’s missing is a dozen oysters on a bed of ice. Switch drive mode to sport plus, stiffen the suspension, lift the spoiler and open the exhaust (all in seconds with a few buttons), and you have a 179-mph racing car that will take all you can give it. We hammered lap after lap at Autobahn Country Club’s twisty track outside Chicago. The 911’s lightning-quick PDK transmission crackles like an F1 car’s, the tight steering railroads you through corners, and your feet stay planted. Could any other car be more elegant, so racy—and still cost under a hundred grand? Considering its entire oeuvre, the Porsche 911 is the greatest sports car of all time, and its new iteration is Playboy’s 2013 Car of the Year.STATSEngine: 3.4-liter flat sixHorsepower: 350Zero to 60: 4.6 secondsMPG: 19 city, 27 highway